I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
