3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize