it's like iHOP with fire
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize