what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
