Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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