john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
