I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
50% drunk capacity currently
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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