Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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