You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
