had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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