just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
