When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
