cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
