my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
