My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
