Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
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i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
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YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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