I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
These tits shall not be calmed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
