she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Are my feet made of real feet?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
