I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
