Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
