Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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