I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.