dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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