There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico