Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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(703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn

Replies (11) Good night (756) Bad night (1630)
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(858): View more from California

sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

(818): View more from California

No. He thinks you're slutty.

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(858): sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat? (818): No. He thinks you're slutty. http://tfl.nu/f63c

Replies (37) Good night (1752) Bad night (4515)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

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(337): The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party http://tfl.nu/w848

Replies (17) Good night (5116) Bad night (1823)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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(423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt

Replies (6) Good night (1692) Bad night (1019)
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(386): View more from Florida

I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.

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(386): I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal. http://tfl.nu/nrun

Replies (2) Good night (1868) Bad night (835)
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(631): View more from New York

he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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(631): he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him http://tfl.nu/2wji

Replies (15) Good night (2220) Bad night (1163)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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(412): it's like my freshman wet dream come true http://tfl.nu/8b08

Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (492)
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(631): View more from New York

I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"

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(631): I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path" http://tfl.nu/xcvb

Replies (14) Good night (1644) Bad night (600)
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(914): View more from New York

Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

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(914): Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket. http://tfl.nu/amsn

Replies (4) Good night (2064) Bad night (445)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?

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(859): Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less? http://tfl.nu/3zmk

Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (453)
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(989): View more from Michigan

You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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(989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y

Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (346)
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(773): View more from Illinois

We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment

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(773): We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment http://tfl.nu/wv2s

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (287)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

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(606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz

Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (431)
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(310): View more from California

Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)

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(310): Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:) http://tfl.nu/5k85

Replies (0) Good night (172) Bad night (267)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog

(813): View more from Florida

I'm afraid to ask what that means

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(913): I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog (813): I'm afraid to ask what that means http://tfl.nu/brbn

Replies (0) Good night (239) Bad night (304)

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