And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
