okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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