It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
