ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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