just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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