Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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