Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
false alarm, still single
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
