arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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