The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
