Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize