Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
