We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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