I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
