I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He better not be in your backpack
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize