How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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