very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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