Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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