let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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