as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
