no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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