My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize