I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
