My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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