How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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