I don't think brook has ever known best
I am midnight drunk by noon
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
