The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
