hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she told me i tasted like america
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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