then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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