Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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