ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i believe in u and ur pee
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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