I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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