okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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