Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
