Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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