Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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