why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
